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I meant to, really I did. This last week I meant to do a cartload of things that never happened. My meant to’s have two tones now. The meant to’s I regret – “I meant to get that cleaned, I meant to stay on top of those chores…” The kind of meant to’s that make me feel lacking and deficient for not getting done.  I have meant to’s that I feel wistful over as well. “I meant to take mommy time out and go get coffee, I meant to not only take the time to watch a sunset I had planned to paint a sunset…” I wish I had made the time to do those things, my attitude would have been better for it. 

Neither meant to’s got done. I didn’t stay on top of things and I didn’t even open my paint case. I didn’t take time to write (blogging, novel work or even a grocery list.) What did I take the time to do? I found time to be annoyed at my son for being a toddler. I found time to yell at the dog for being a puppy and I found time to argue with my husband for being the money earner in our family. Yep, that’s really what I did. What a colossal waste of my time, effort and of my nature as a mother, wife and pet owner. 

What if I had bothered to help my son finger paint instead of being frustrated with him getting into my paints. What if I had bothered to take us all to the park instead of yelling at the dog for having nothing to do but dig wholes in the yard. What if I had made time to take time for myself with a hot cup of coffee? Would I have been relaxed enough to let the little things slide and avoided an argument with my spouse all together? 

I’m not worried about the chores I fell behind with, my husband selflessly helped me catch up on all the things I should have been taking care of over the weekend. I’m more disappointed in the fact that because I didn’t take the time to create anything, I felt so stressed about my week I didn’t take time to be the mother and wife I not only am capable of but am privileged to be.

Not so this week. I might still not totally stay on top of the laundry and the kitchen might not get mopped but, I’m going to finger paint, play soccer in the yard, help my son play fetch with the dog and I am most definitely making time for coffee. 

I.F.

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3 Comments

  1. Thanks guys, it was all sorted before I blogged but I will NEVER turn down love and prayer of any kind, lol!

  2. You have come to realize what it takes many of us years to realize! I'm learning that life is way too short and that we should live each day to the fullest! I'm praying for you!

  3. So true. I think Zac and Shade will get over you being 'mad'. they love you. ( or at least they act like the do ;P)


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