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Well, Christmas vacation is over with and we are safely back home. There are lots of amazing, adorable memories between my son and his cousin and the grandparents. I have one of just my son and I that sticks out the most to me in light of the new year and its penchant for resolutions.
It starts out pretty normal for holidays with my family. My sisters and I wanted to throw a New Year’s Eve party, Dad over heard and said he absolutely didn’t want to have a bunch of people over at the house on NYE so in the spirit of listening we did the only reasonable thing and invited a small 20-30ish people over on the 29th instead. My son, at a ripe age of 3 was allowed to stay up to meet some of my old friends and to do what he does best in a crowd, which is to show off and he’s really good at it. The problem started when the foosball and pool started downstairs. He was too young to play the games according to the rules and the younger group playing them were not paying attention to him like the doting adults upstairs. I was in the middle of cheering on my brother in law at foos ball when my little blond boy left my side and then maybe 10 seconds later I heard a shriek from across the room. I looked over and I saw my boy with his head thrown back and eyes full of tears howling at the ceiling. I ran over and picked him up and started 20 questions in an effort to find out what was wrong.
“Are you hurt?”
“No.” (tears and more wailing)
“Are you sick?”
“No, not sick.” (Snot pours out his little nose.)
“What do you need baby?”
“I don’t know” (More whimpering.) At this point I noticed how he was eying the other kids downstairs and made a last guess.
“Do you need attention baby?” At this he looked up at me with a half sob half laugh and exclaimed
“Yeah! I need attentions!” We sat on the floor surrounded by the party and cuddled. It only took him about 3 minutes to fuel up on me time and then he was off again, but it got me thinking. What do I need? Not want or think I need but, what do I really need? And why can that be hard to ask for? I’m really good at asking for things I want, because I usually want them pretty badly. Things I need though, sometimes I don’t want those. There are plenty of times though, and this is where my thoughts went primarily, where I know what I need, I want what I need and I still don’t raise my voice. Why? I’m a mom, I’m busy and I push things to the back burner that sometimes shouldn’t be in an effort to be a “good mom” or a “good wife”, “good _______ ” fill it in yourself. Sometimes I’m just tired and I forget, or I’m energized and I decide I can do without, which is a 50/50 bet towards victory, success and burnout and/or disaster. There are certainly times when I’m not totally sure if what I need is just something I want and I let theoretical guilt keep me from asking.
I think I’m done doing that now though. I think that I’m going to start mastering the art of asking for what I need and doing it loudly enough that even if I’m the short, overlooked person in the crowd, some one will hear me.

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3 Comments

  1. well said

  2. Nice. Very right on.

  3. Love it!


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