Dear Self, this week we learned…

 

Wednesday is Day Care Day at the Zoo. Don’t go on Wednesday.

Day Care Supervisors do not, in fact, supervise anyone. They carry clip boards, wear baggy high-waisted shorts and spend their time not finding their sunglasses while letting the kids run around the flamingo exhibit screaming, “OH MY GOSH IT’S POOPING, GROSS!” at the top of their lungs while also stepping on other people’s belongings and tripping elderly folk.

Reading the labels the hubz taped to the pepper plants BEFORE digging a bunch of holes in the ground and planting them is wise. They are there because I am in fact not capable of telling the different pepper plants apart.

Gold paint smells bad, sniffing it more to figure out what sort of bad it is won’t help.

Wearing the white bra with the purple tank top is not a good idea, just because the tank has white ribbing does not mean the straps blend in.

To stop storing eyeliner pencil in outside pocket of the book bag. It feels like a pen, but fellow guitarist won’t appreciate the shared music book being marked up in smokey sea glass green.

Your child is prone to car sickness – make a barf bag preparation kit and PUT IT IN THE DANG CAR ALREADY.