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This is the holiday coffee table centerpiece I made. It took me 87 seconds and made me feel productive. This picture will some how have the ability to make even brain surgeons feel less productive than I am. It’s the magic of the internet.

 

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This is my turtle, Buddha. He likes Christmas more than most wood turtles, so he thinks he is hipster. He is sad sometimes that he can’t find $260 thick, black-rimmed glasses, and $95 v-neck knits that fit him because he cares a lot about not caring how he looks.

 

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This is my table set for dinner. Yes, it is always this clean. You may notice there are no place settings on the table. I don’t cook so my family can eat, I cook so I can put pictures of my awesome food on the internet where lazier people can look at it and feel bad about their lives. We are in fact not going to eat this pie at all because eating is something messy people who don’t know better do. We subsist off of the constant cleanliness of my house keeping and the carbon foot print of our neighbors.

 

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There is a homemade beef and carrot pie on my table and there is nothing cooler than this pie.

 

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I made it from scratch, and even the hot pad was handmade, by my mother-in-law. I will feed the pie to my dog later to be ironic and post pictures of that on the internet too because my dog thinks she’s people. People love nothing more than non-people who think they are people. Unless it’s pictures of food.

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One Comment

  1. Nice looking pie!


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